It’s a mom-conspiracy, I think. And until you become one, you aren’t allowed to know all the secret-secrets that go into raising a kid. Mostly because you don’t want to (ignorance is bliss afterall), but also because no one likes to talk about the REAL way things go…Oh, no, they just want to talk about the number of teeth Suziy (yes, that’s with an “i” and a “y”, you say) has or Johnny’s first steps. NO MORE, I say! No more! I am baring the mom-soul and sharing these 10 Sanity-Saving Developmental Milestones No One Talks About–mostly because they’re random and silly, but you know, we all need to know…heh.
10 Sanity-Saving Developmental Milestones No One Talks About
- The First Time Your Baby’s Diaper Explodes. Buy bigger diapers. ‘Nuff said.
- The First Time Your Baby Eats Fast Food. Fist pump–no more 10lbs of baby food in the diaper bag!
- The First Time Your Toddler Laughs When You Say “No.” It’s all downhill from there.
- The First Time Your Toddler Removes Their Own Diaper. Just be hopeful it’s not full of poo.
- The First Time Your Toddler Poops in Public. In the restroom. I meant in the restroom…gosh.
- The First Time Your Toddler Climbs Onto the Couch. This happened to me today. It is the end of my existence, as far as I’m concerned. I can no longer put my laptop or phone on the couch and know it will be there when I get back.
- The First Time Your Toddler Climbs Out of the Playpen. Also happened to me today. I. Am. Crushed. No more corralling that kid.
- The First Time Your Kid Wipes Their Own Butt. This still has not happened for me–well, my teen wipes his butt, maybe? I don’t know–I don’t ask. So, when does this ever happen?
- The First Time Your Kid Makes Their Own Bowl of Cereal. Sleeping-in on Saturday mornings can now be a reality again. Heh.
- The First Time Your Teen Says “You’re Right.” It might be the last time in a long time, too. Just FYI–because they realize their mistake the moment they make it. Heh.
Would you add anything to my 10 Sanity-Saving Developmental Milestones No One Talks About? I know you, mommies, you would if there weren’t a conspiracy out there…heh. It’s ok. I think you can comment anonymously (probably not really), so just drop me a line below…I promise not to tell…heh.
