I’m proud to say that I’ve never been a teen boy. Sure, I was a teen, but I was a GIRL. Which is like a whole different animal of a different color, size, weight, origin, and species. So, I’m befuddled by the teen boys and why they’re so different from the rest of the world. And despite my best efforts, all of my investigations have come to nothing. My primary study this week: Why Won’t Teen Boys Take a Shower? It’s the greatest mystery (of the week) and I, the primary investigator in my house, MUST parse-out the root…heh.
Why Won’t Teen Boys Take a Shower?
- Do they enjoy the stench? They must. How else can they stand it? Must smell like roses to them.
- Are they allergic to water? Does their skin shrivel and fall off if exposed for more than 2 seconds? I have not seen these injuries myself, but this is an investigation, after all. Perhaps and experiment is in order. Will have to wait until Subject 1 (the teen boy in my house–my son) is asleep…then I’ll put his hand in water and see what happens…wait, no, that’s probably not a good idea…
- Are other’s of their species attracted to the scent of unwashed body? Nope. Nope nope noped-ey nope. I was a teen girl once. Nope.
- Does oily hair make them more aerodynamic? Surely they don’t run FASTER or EASIER with oily hair…I’ve never heard of that…
- Do they think no one notices? Because parents, at least, do notice if they take a shower or not. If you’re a teen boy reading this: We notice. WE ALL NOTICE. Every parent. Always.
- Do they think that if someone notices, they won’t be brave enough to say something? Because I do. I don’t know about other moms or other people, but I’m brutally honest with my son. He smells bad, I tell him. That’s how it works at my house.
- Are they insane? Probably, but that’s another story. I think. Or maybe this is just a piece of the puzzle. Does the lack of showers make them crazy? Snap. That’s probably the answer right there. Or not. Probably not.
- Are they aware that a liberal dousing of body spray does nothing but make a worse smell? Combining BO with Axe is not an acceptable smell. Ever.
Do teen boys puzzle you as well? Do you know Why Teen Boys Won’t Take a Shower? If you have the answer to this, or any other of life’s great mysteries, I beg you, leave a comment here, find me on Facebook, send me a telegraph, or a little mind-meld action. I must know…I must know…