There are just some things that get under my skin that, although I avidly read it and snap it up, it’s changing my life in ways that I’m not sure are so great. Although they are kind of funny. So, there are really just 5 Things I Need You to Stop Blogging About. Mostly because I totally project everything and feel like the entire world…never mind…just read.
5 Things I Need You to Stop Blogging About (and why)
- Your Kid Being Kidnapped. Now, I’m afraid to let my in-laws watch the kids (not that I don’t let them watch the babies, but I’m still scared). For reals, y’all, I have some kind of glitch that makes me worried that, seriously, someone will take-off with my baby and I’ll never see her again. It also doesn’t help that everyone (EVERYONE) stops me in the store to tell me how cute the two girls are…please, you’re all making me paranoid here.
- Dating Your Husband. So, I love my hubster. Don’t get me wrong. But that man has no inclination to date me and it just annoys the heck out of him when I start reading all your blog posts about how wonderful your relationships are because you are “dating” your husband by going out with him on a Friday night. Yeah, he’d just rather Netflix and Chill after the kids go to bed, if you get my drift. So, stop making me make my husband annoyed. Just talk about how you Netflix and Chill–I won’t get any ideas then.
- Cool DIY Projects. You’re just making me jealous. Can’t you all be nice and put all your fun projects on hold for like at least 5 more years until my babies are old enough that they’re not constantly attached to me at the hip? Because I’m not using a table saw or metal grinder with them in the baby-carrier on my chest. And I REALLY want to be in the garage making fun things alongside you. Even if you are on a computer and I’m, well, in my garage alone…
- How Perfect and Smart Your Toddler Is. For really, really, real with a cherry on top, please. I mean, I get it. But we can’t all be paragons of perfection. Take that kid off the pedestal already. Everyone develops at different paces and in different ways. So your kid can snowboard at 1…mine could stuff smashed peas up her nose at about 5 months…so? We’re each unique and have talents…stop making my baby’s accomplishments seem small.
- How Your Teen is Ready for College (at 13). I know the truth, you know the truth, and your teen knows the truth. You’re all going to be sitting in the hallway crying together that he/she didn’t get accepted to that “perfect” college. Or she’s going to get a ticket a week before she moves out for public intox. Or, even worse, he’s going to get to college and come home with a girlfriend (BUT NO JOB). You are just so ready to get him/her out of the house, you’re saying anything…quit lying…or maybe not…maybe I should just start lying, too…might make me feel better. Heh.
I probably ought to stop watching Criminal Minds, too. LOL!