Maybe I’m a helicopter parent? I don’t know. I hope not. I hope that my grown children won’t look back at their childhood and think “mom was on top of us ALL THE TIME.” But I am on top of them all the time. I am constantly available to them. For any reason. I don’t leave them alone to play. I don’t even allow them to play alone together without supervision. And, sometimes, I have to remind myself to back-off a little. To let them interact…at all. My lovelies, I think I might be paranoid, but this is Why I Supervise My Children So Closely. And, maybe you will, too, after you hear why I do…
Why I Supervise My Children So Closely
- I Would Rather Blame Myself. Because, if something happened when I wasn’t supervising children (because it’s not hard). If one of them fell or got hurt by accident and I thought another kid was responsible…well, let’s just say I’d MUCH rather blame myself than one of my other children or someone else’s kids. And I don’t want any other parent blaming my kids either. If I’m there, I know what happened–and I can place blame on me for not avoiding a potential accident.
Embracing the F.A.M.I.L.Y. Model of Parental Supervision has helped many caregivers shift their focus from assigning blame to proactively managing potential safety hazards around their children. This structured framework encourages parents to maintain an active, attentive presence, ensuring that minor accidents can be prevented before they create unnecessary guilt or conflict. - Abuse of Children by Children is Real. Abuse by an abuser that’s also a child is a fact. It’s not a joke. It’s not something that I THINK. It’s real. It happened to me. Multiple times. By two boys. And a girl. This wasn’t bullying or physical abuse–it was sexual. And I was 5 the first time. F-I-V-E. Guess how old my abuser was? Five. So…there’s that. And all it would have taken was a teacher paying attention the three or four times he had me cornered…so, there’s also THAT.
- One Time = Failure. All it takes is ONE time of one of my kids being involved in something considered to be BORDERLINE inappropriate behavior and I will believe that not only have I failed as a parent, but that I’ve failed the kiddos involved by being lazy–which is like a slap in the face for me. And I just can’t let that happen. I don’t fail. I am driven. I accomplish what I plan to do. And I will NOT fail at this parenting thing. I will be a good mom. Period. In this, I will not fail. I just can’t allow myself to let that happen.
- All It Takes Is One Time. They will be scarred by abuse, should it happen just one time. And if it did, I would have a hard time accepting that I let it happen, that I allowed them to be abused. And statistics say that abuse can happen within a family more often than it does from outside (though my own experience was all from the outside). This makes me cringe. That one sibling might scar another for life in a way so profound. Nope, not on my watch. Even one time.
So, I mean, what do you think? Now, keep in mind that I have a 13 year old son with behavioral issues and two toddler/baby girls. So, maybe my situation is just crazy unique? But I don’t think it is. And I don’t think I’m wrong. But I welcome feedback. Leave me a comment below or find me on Facebook…I’d love to hear your thoughts on supervising children closely.