I could have started this post by saying “this is how to enjoy being a mom”, but really, I could totally be the only person out there with these issues. Riiiiight. No, I think a lot of moms (especially new ones) have the same challenges, but my method for enjoyment may be the complete opposite from what another mom needs. Mostly, what I had to do to enjoy being a mom was all my thing. All me. But once I had a plan, being a mom got so much more awesome.
What I had to do to enjoy being a mom…
Getting my finances in order (sort of). Yeah, I kind of had to accept that we will never have “enough” money because my family and I can spend like we just won the lottery–and I sweat every dime, always have. So, to help me relax into being a full-time mommy, I had to get a handle on our finances and then accept the fact that I can’t control it to a finite level. So, I set a budget to make sure there’s enough money to pay bills every month, then let the chips fall. It’s working and when I check-in at the end of the week every week, I’m still ok. I don’t have to worry about every penny to keep a balance in the bank, just spend smart.
Accepting that my role as mom is just as important as my role in the workplace. This was honestly the hardest for me and I still struggle with it nearly daily–and I’ve been “stay at home” for over a year. My double-mantra: “I can go back to work when the girls go to school” (although I know I won’t) and “I am making life-altering, important decisions every day with my kids–it’s ok if I’m not doing that in the workplace”.
Finding a hobby (or 85) that I can do with the babies. I cannot crochet anymore as my toddler runs with the yarn and the newborn requires at least one hand. I cannot cook elaborate meals (see toddler running with yarn? and newborn requiring one hand?). However, I CAN read (which I love to do) and I CAN blog a little here and there–not full time, but here and there.
Establishing limits (vs. expectations) for myself and sticking with them. Yeah, so I will not be able to fold laundry, do dishes, write a blog post, cook lunch, cook dinner, wash babies, run the dogs to the vet and pee all in the same day. I want to. Don’t get me wrong, I am totally capable. But something’s gotta give–and it will not be the 94 diaper changes, feeding babies, or picking up my son from school. I decided that, rather than hope I can get stuff done, I should just be excited when I do. And try not to do more than one big chore a day.
Make an effort to do something fun, everyday, with the kids. The biggest thing about being a mom is that it’s not supposed to be a downer, so it’s up to you, as the mom, to keep it from being that way. Your kids will take their cues from you, so, for me, the best way to keep my kids from being crazy and making me nuts is to slap a smile on and join-in. Because, really, if you can’t beat them (which we don’t do to kids, I’m told), join ’em.