How to Find Someone’s Birthday Without Asking

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Birthdays are special occasions that remind us of the yearly milestones we’ve accomplished not just in physical growth and development but also in life experiences. They are moments that call for celebration for both the celebrant and well-wishers. One way to show those dear to us that we truly care is to remember their birthdays and make them feel loved. As the saying goes, “It’s not the size of the gift that counts, but the thought that comes with it.”

An image of people celebrating a birthday.

But what if for some reason you forgot your friend’s, spouse’s, sibling’s, or boss’s birthday and are running out of time to get them a present or book an ideal weekend getaway? Well, you are not alone—and you shouldn’t beat yourself too hard. In an article published by SWNS Digital, it was discovered that one in three Americans have at some point forgotten their partner’s birthday—and men are twice as likely to forget than women.

So, how do you avoid this cardinal sin? Let’s find out in this guide.

Get on Social Media


The biggest social networking platform on the internet today, Facebook is where people upload important details about their lives, including birthdays. It is a gold mine for information, considering that there are a whopping 3.049 billion active users per month. That means you can look up almost just anyone’s special day as long as they have an account and make their details public.

If their date of birth isn’t provided on their profile, try scanning their timeline to find a group of birthday messages sent from their mutual friends on the same day in previous years. If the person’s account is set to private, you’ll need to send them a friend request to be able to perform this lookup.

Twitter (now X)

X provides an info section on a user’s profile. This info includes details such as name, date of birth, location, and account creation date. This information is typically made public unless the person puts it under lock and key by “protecting their tweets,” at which point you’ll need to request to follow the account.

On their birthdays, any posts made by them will have a neon balloon overlay on top of it—a subtle way of alerting their followers of this special day


If you follow the person on Instagram, you can look through their posts and photos from previous years for birthday-related themes. Chances are you’ll stumble on a couple of them, especially if they are under the hashtag #birthday or a similar variant. Otherwise, you may need to scour their mutual friends’ posts in search of tagged birthday photos.


Like X, Snapchat displays a birthday cake emoji beside the user’s name on the actual date indicated by the individual in their profile. If you sense their birthday drawing closer but have no clue what their specific day is, you’ll need to type their name in the friend’s list search bar on your account daily until you see this emoji pop up next to it.

Ask Around

It would be ideal to consult people who know the person in question, especially those you know well, to get a clue on the exact date of birth. You could start off with something like “Hey Mike, do you know by chance when Sam’s birthday is? I think it’s around the corner but I don’t wanna make any guesswork in order not to ruin the surprise I’m planning for him.”

By taking this approach, you don’t come across as incompetent and forgetful but rather resourceful and caring. If they can’t tell you off the top of their heads, they can help by making some phone calls to those who may know. Suppose that special person is a coworker; you can ask your boss or another close colleague about their birthday, who will most likely be able to help by consulting the company’s employee records on your behalf.

Keep in mind that not all companies are at liberty to disclose this information using the above-stated means as it goes against their policies against confidentiality. So, you might want to take an alternative route by seeking permission to throw a small surprise get-together for that person, which can serve as the perfect cover for your request for the information you need.

A closeup image of the detail Date of Birth.

Reverse Search Their Details

Reverse lookup sites come in handy to help you get more details about a person using their full name, phone number, or address (physical or email). Nuwber is one verified resourceful tool in this regard, as it hosts millions of public records from across the country. You simply need to enter the person’s details in the site’s search bar to find their birthday. 

Inquire From the Individual

Take a More Direct Approach

Consider this option if your relationship with the person is in its infancy. At this point, it’s perfectly fine to ask for their birthday. Be it at a weekend BBQ party, on a first date, or even after a job interview. But it is advised you inquire light-heartedly so as not to appear unimpressive or tactless. If the person is a long-time buddy, of course, consider a subtle approach. You could say “Got that big day coming up, huh? When is it again, because I got something mapped out for you?”

Gather Clues From Them

If you want to find out when your friend or partner’s birthday is without asking outright, you can casually bring up past birthday celebrations and see what date they mention. You could ask them to share their favorite birthday memory or describe their perfect birthday celebration.

If they aren’t forthcoming with the exact date, tweak your questions to get closer to it; in some cases, reverse psychology works better. For example, you could say, “That sounds amazing. Wasn’t your birthday on Friday, the second week of June?”

Zodiac signs also serve as a springboard to kickstart such conversations. All you need to do is casually ask them what their zodiac sign is to get an idea of what month they were born in. You can then get an approximate date range and do your own calculations to get the actual day.

Bring Up Your Birthday to Encourage Them to Talk About Theirs

Gently bring up the topic of your birthday while talking to your friend or partner to see if they chip in theirs in response. You could even spark a light-hearted debate with statements like, “December birthdays are the best! Those snowy days add more magic to them and spice up the festive spirit,” to which they might say, “Oh really? Well, May birthdays are great because…” and continue with their personal experience.


Hopefully, you have gathered enough information to put that birthday surprise together. And you are no longer left wondering “What month is this person’s birthday?” with these tried-and-tested tips. So, what are you waiting for? Put these guidelines to the test right away with that special person.

An image of a woman giving a man a birthday cake with the text - How to Find Someone's Birthday Without Asking. The site's link is also included in the image.

Thank you for sharing!

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