My mom and dad spent a lot of time teaching me that “I hate ____” or “That tastes icky” just weren’t nice things to say. Certainly, they didn’t encourage lying, but if I didn’t like something at the dinner table, or a person at school, the expectation was for me to keep my mouth shut. I really thought that most of the world worked that way, too, as I was growing-up. But, I’ve learned that, despite the fact that I try really hard to live by the “golden rule”, not everyone else does. Ultimately, I’m a duck off whose back your evil words roll, unfortunately, my kids are not yet. If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all–and this is why.
10 Reasons If You Can’t Say Something Nice…
- Tiny Little Girls. I have daughters who have not yet developed their self-image. They’re 2. Don’t put them in a box. They deserve to think that they can conquer the world. Because they can.
- Stupid Boob-Tube. My daughters will hear enough hurtful things from the TV. And the internet. Since I don’t plan to let them lead sheltered lives, this will be something I have to fight already–so don’t make my job harder.
- Ladies and Gentlemen. As my husband once told my son: “Mom’s trying to raise her daughters to be ladies and her son to be a gentleman.” You do that if one (or all of them) want to be all nasty-nellie. It’s really hard.
- Parrot Anyone? I don’t want to hear your words repeated in my house, and I SOOOO will, if you say something not nice. Kids like to try stuff out, see how it fits on them. I just don’t want to hear it (see the above points).
- Positive = Happy. Positive people lead happier lives and I intend to make my kiddos some of the happiest on the planet. They will be glass-all-the-way-awesome kinda people if I have my way and that way, they’ll maybe be some of the most awesome people on the planet. See how that works?
- Personally, Poorly. I take everything personally (even if I lie and tell people that I don’t *see above*). My kids can’t possibly do anything else. Their skin is thin. See the first point. They don’t need fat shaming. They don’t need stupid-shaming. They don’t need to be ashamed of anything. They’re kids.
- Karma Sucks. If you squash my kid’s potential with your crappy words (I’m looking at you, Mrs. Moody, who told me in the 2nd grade that I wouldn’t need to learn math because all I would use it for was grocery shopping–since I’d be a trophy wife *which I’m not*), then baaaaad things will happen to you karma-wise.
- Stupid Is As Stupid Does. Don’t make yourself look un-nice by spouting crap that isn’t nice. If you’re negative in how you approach the world, you get looked upon negatively. This is something I try to teach my son. People don’t like to hang with people who can’t be nice. Even emo-sad-sacks are nice to each other (I know, I used to be one).
- Boy Who Cried “WHAT, WHAT?!” Yeah, so if you’re always spouting ick, then no one is really listening to you. Then, when something is actually, really icky–no one will be listening to you. It’s like my husband (complains all the time about his back hurting). So, I rub it kind of half-heartedly now, after 10 years of doing this almost every night. When he had a broken hand–I rubbed it half-heartedly…poor guy had just cried wolf too often.
- Beating a Dead Horse. Yeah, don’t do that. Being negative all the time does that. Get over it. The horse is dead. We all know. Just because we don’t talk about it and complain doesn’t mean we don’t notice the dead horse, we’re just happy to do what needs to be done to bury it and move on with our cattle drive.
In summary: if you can’t say something nice…don’t talk to me, because I don’t need that negativity in my life and I definitely don’t need that negativity in my kids’ lives. Now, I’m going to go eat a bowl of cookie dough and smile about it because I’m still breastfeeding and I can EAT WHAT I WANT! LOL!